Insufficient Lover

Insufficient liar waking carelessly in my bed,

haven't you seen the roses lain or must I point instead?

Bright red petals at your feet, a heart shape on your cushion;

you never seem to notice my tries to grasp your attention.

Breakfast made, your orange juice is poured- not pulp,

just the way you like it, but there's no gratitude as you gulp.

My sweat and blood in your stomach and on your lips,

yet what have you given me in return for all of this?

With the nerve to call me selfish- what did I ever ask?

Never for you to go out of your way for me, not a single task,

and still you take me for granted as if I'll live forever

devoid of the strength to leave you- how could I ever?

But the nights for me grow weary as I linger by your side,

withstanding the chatter of your ego and consummate pride,

nodding my head slowly in a silence I cannot bear

because of all the things I conceal that I long to share.

Beside you I falter with self-consciousness and it's painful

to beg you for a compliment; you never say I'm beautiful.

Just once in a while I'd like to know how you see me,

worrying constantly I haven't been attractive enough for you lately.

Yet as many visits to the hair-stylist, make-up artist, perfume parlor,

at no time do I seem to satisfy as the maiden of the one in shining armor.

--

From sunrise to sunset I make sure you're doing well

though I haven't slept for weeks, but you couldn't tell,

answering your every call, running errands when my schedule is busy,

asking how you are, how your day has been, granting you don't care to ask me.

Dinner is made when you come home- I refresh to look my best,

thinking to myself I'm lucky to have you- I should count with what I'm blessed,

but then I'm reminded when you slam the door and walk straight past

without looking in my eyes, without hello- in your mind am I always last?

Work you say is stressful, then isn't it for me too?

Shouldn't I be allowed to complain about the chores I have to do?

And what about the hours I spend taking care of you when you need,

giving you unconditional love when what you give is greed?

I know I'm imperfect, but there must be more that I deserve
than a man who waits upon me to pamper and serve,
to shower him with the treasures of my heart so he is spoiled,
and be his companion in a relationship that has soon soiled.
So if a friend is what you ask, I'll be there to share some time,
but I'm moving my belongings away in the meantime
until I find someone whose truths aren't gloved,
who makes me feel special, worthy, and truly loved.