Stepping past the threshold once,
All things good, why did I follow?
I love you
And you love me
“No, we can't be”
You keep whispering
But then you kiss me again
Your hands around my waist
Your lips pressed against mine
Lost in pleasure
An act of passion
Our eyes closed
As if in a trance
Holding on to one another
Melting in each others arms
Falling deeper
And madly
In love
“Yes, we can”
I whisper
I woke up one morning, with a new pulse, a new rhythm.
I felt different- a sudden importance and want.
There's something new, and I'm in it.
There's something out there, and I'm there.
There's something, but I don't know what it is.
And yet I stand out in the green pasture and look to the sun with
a new smile.
Lately it's been so hard to tell you how I feel
because I know you're not listening to a word I say.
I'm just trying to help you, to make your fantasies real,
but all you ever do is push me away.
I give you some advice and you accuse me of a lecture.
You ignore my every word and think of something else,
but my only intentions are to help you stand with a structure
so you are strong and independent when by yourself.
I've become the villain in your eyes instead of a friend,
and it hurts me to think you'll never live life
the way you wanted it to be, stepping out of the pretend,
lost in your downy cast and never ending strife.
I reach out my hand and though you're not standing here
I can feel your ignorance, the brush of your hand
hard against my arm as you shove me back in fear.
Yet when you fall there I am to help you stand.
I'm not sure how to explain things to you anymore,
how to tell you what I feel without sounding repetitive,
but it doesn't seem to matter what I said now or before,
because you've shunned me from the world you live.
I try, I really do, to make things easier for you.
If only you trusted me like I believe you did.
It's a shame when I talk to you I can't get through,
and it stings to know in your heart it's me you forbid.
Has my effort gone to waste after all this time,
the pain I bore to make certain you could breathe?
I wonder if you could take a moment to think of me sometime
and realize it was your aching, your sorrow I tried to relieve.
My nights grow sleepless wondering about your being;
how you are, where you are, how you feel, are you safe?
You told me I shouldn't care, but there's something you're not seeing:
I worry that you may feel too lonely as if you are a waif.
I want to be there to hold you when you are afraid,
to kiss your cheek and whisper that I'm here to protect you
from all you fear, all you hate, to end this charade
of your confidence and contentment in not being what you want to.
You go on as though tomorrow doesn't matter,
and I'm just another nuisance to get in your way,
but I've always cared for you like no other.
Every day for your happiness and love I pray.
If only you could hear me and know I mean well,
if you could remember I'm not against you,
but you walk away from me, insisting to dwell,
not realizing I sacrificed my dreams for yours to come true.
I've been waiting so long to see you
to the point where I've lost track of time,
and every second longer hurts
so I've taken down the clock
and don't look at the sky anymore
to see how far the sun is rising
or how low the moon has set
because then I know time,
and time is something
I want to forget
when thinking about you.